Day 61

Just when you think it's getting better...

Today I went to class. It was the first day in a new class. I am beginning to dread the whole introduce yourself to the class bit. A classmate shared his story. He had a brush with death and is still here to tell his story. His heart actually stopped for several minutes. I couldn't help but think that he has been, ever so briefly, where my Zavier is. Or at least closer to that place than I've ever been. Maybe I was meant to hear his message of truth and inspiration.

He has been there and back. He spoke with such conviction. And yet, I don't see my glass as half full anymore. My reality reflects my experiences. My reality is in constant conflict as I am torn between pain and possible happiness. I am eternally grateful for my daughter and my husband. I am grateful for the opportunity I was given to meet my boy. To love him and care for him, even for such a short while. 

But I miss him and my broken heart aches.

The class is a human motivation class. I already know it is going to be a difficult class for me at this point in my life. But who knows, maybe I will figure out how to channel some much needed personal motivation.