I'm getting so tired of this. And it has only been 25 days. I have sincerely been trying. Giving it my all and then some.
Today, I dropped Juliana off at RE (church). I decided to go to the gym for a quick 30 minute workout. I was on the treadmill. I glance up at the television. And the words seem to scream at me....Underestimating SIDS...That is the glaring headline on whatever newstation that happened to be on.
Are you kidding me? Is there not some evil cosmic force trying to crush me? Is that a sign? Is that a message for me? Is that what I'm guilty of?
I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I don't feel like I can do this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi Erica,
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow mother who lost their baby to SIDS this year, it does in some ways get better. I am Jaime Connell from Lanie's bible study group. If you ever want to talk or email, I am here. My little angel went to Heaven on August 21st. Hardest day of my life. But the sun does come up every day.
Erica,
ReplyDeleteGod and Time will heal you! Look at your at the blessings around you, no evil will keep you bound so long as you keep your faith! I know your a strong and loving woman. Cherish the moments my dear! You will find the comfort you are seeking, in TIME! Love ya.
Phil
Thinking of you always! Love you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I can't even imagine. But maybe...you shouldn't try. May you should have a day, a week, a month...to be selfish...and feel until you can't feel anymore. Until you can't anymore and all that's left is the everyday. Is it fair to your family...maybe not. But I think its fair to you. I don't know. I can't even imagine.
ReplyDeletemy sweetheart life is not easy you are a wonderful woman with great faith and love the sun will shine and you will live never give up i love you more then you will ever know
ReplyDelete