Monday, March 8, 2010

Day 59

2 months...My Zavier is still gone...

Still so many questions. I hate that it has been 2 months since I held my boy in my arms. I would literally give my life so that Felix could have his son, Juliana could have her brother.

When I cry I am sad. When I smile I am sad. When I laugh I am sad. When I am at work I am sad. When I'm at home I am sad. When I am angry I am sad. It goes on and on...

But I can smile and I can laugh so I guess that is something.

I still want him back and I miss him more than words. It isn't fair and it just all really sucks. I want to throw a tantrum like a 2 yr old. I want to yell, kick and scream. But at who, at what...my son isn't coming back...

Everyday I think of something I could've done differently. Would this or that have changed the end result? Probably not.

1 comment:

  1. You've done amazingly well for 2 months. Keep on keeping on...You continue to be my inspiration when I'm feeling overwhelmed - thank you.

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