I woke up this morning an angry person. How could I celebrate another year of my life when my son did not get to experience even his first birthday? This day reminds me that I will not have the privilege of parties and celebrations with Zavier. Will there ever be another true celebration in my world? I'm not sure.
This evening as I walked into Zavier's room to turn on his nightlight I could smell him as strongly as if he were sleeping in his crib. That sweet baby scent caught me off guard. But, I am grateful that I can now smile through my pain. I am grateful that I can still see his smiling face so clearly in my mind.
Today is my birthday. A birthday that brings me that much closer to the day I see my boy. It was a difficult day made so much easier by my friends and family.
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This blog will chronicle my first year without my son. We had him with us for just a short while. I'm creating this blog with a heavy heart and I'm hoping by the end of this first year I will have a little peace.
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