Monday, July 12, 2010

Day 185

This past Friday, I jogged a few miles on a long, winding road. The weather was nice and warm with a slight breeze. The scenery was breathtaking. As I ran, I tried to get my mind to be silent...to not think. Before I knew it, I realized I was thanking God. It used to be part of my routine. Not so much these days.

Oh, I am still angry and for the most part I just want to be mad for now. I realize that it is not just Zavier's sudden departure that I am angry about. Thinking about Zavier's life and feeling the loss of my son has forced me to take a look at who I was, who I am and who I want to become.

Yes, I am angry and one day I will have to figure out how to let that anger go but I am also very grateful.

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