As we drove across town this evening, I felt the familiar tears start to roll down my cheeks. I was tired. So tired. Of what? I'm not sure. Everything really. Tired of thinking, Tired of being. Tired of life.
As we were leaving Bo's Place, I saw the drawing Juliana worked on this evening. It was a drawing of our family. She drew herself with a smile on her face. She drew her dad who was niether smiling nor frowning. And she drew me with a very noticeable frown and lots of tears.
She proceeded to explain that she meant to draw herself with a frown on her face but she forgot. I told her I was glad she drew herself with a smile. I told her it was good to smile and ok to be happy.
That drawing really hit home. I don't want her to remember me like this. I don't want her to think that my way is the right way or the only way. I will try harder. I am more determined now than ever to figure out how to live.
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"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
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