I've been doing a lot of thinking these days. The feelings keep coming fast and furious.
On Sunday, a friend sent Felix a text letting us know he'd seen Juls on a billboard. I told Juls and immediately saw the excitement in her eyes. I suggested we take a drive and take a look for ourselves.
The actual picture is a couple years old and I couldn't help but be reminded even though she is growing up she is still our little girl. I've begun to think that maybe that's a sign. Literally, for sure. But, beyond that it is a sign to me, a reminder that Juls is still very much here. "Here I am, Mom." that sign seemed to say to me. And even though we are hurting and continue with our daily struggle as we deal with the gaping hole in our family, she is still here. And she needs us to be here, mentally, emotionally and physically.
So....slowly but surely, I'm making my way back. Never the same, but I'm coming back.
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