I've always heard how people experience phantom pains after the loss of a limb. Lately, I keep thinking how being forced to exist without Zavier physically here with me is similar. Living as a Mom without your baby is like living without a vital piece of you.
I can almost feel him in my arms, snuggled against my chest. I can feel his little hands pulling my hair. I can feel his breath on my neck. I go into his room and I can smell his sweet baby scent. I am so afraid of losing that.
I know I will never be whole again. There is a piece of my heart somewhere in the universe. Lost to me forever. Because with my Zavier forever is a part of me.
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somewhere in the universe...i think that's called "heaven"...
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