Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 311

Last night as I drove home on that dark rainy night I found myself telling Zavier (in my mind not out loud) that I wish I knew he was proud of his Mama. I was near tears as I told him things I was sure he already knew. I told him how hard we were working to put Team Zavier on a path that would reach parents and their babies. I told him I was so tired but if I knew we were helping in some way it'd be worth it.

Life does not stop so you can grieve. Grief happens on top of everything else. You work, you study, you parent, you clean, you help and you grieve. It's literally exhausting...physically and emotionally exhausting...

But this afternoon when I looked into Zavier's room after work his lamp was on. I knew that was my Zavier telling his Mama that he is proud. That was our Zavier cheering on the Team Zavier that he inspires. I stood in his room for a few moments and let the feeling that my son is near wash over me. I left his room more convinced than ever.

Stronger. Energized. Motivated. Hopeful once again.

Only With God's Grace...

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