Day 37

Happy Valentine's Day? Will there ever be another Happy holiday? I never thought holidays would include trips to the cemetary. And now, in all honesty, I can't imagine a holiday without a trip to the cemetary. I like to think Zavi sees us getting balloons ready for him and setting them free to be carried by the breeze high into the sky.

I guess this is part the of the dreaded 'new normal'. It did not escape me that the cemetary was actually quite beautiful today. It is still hard to go to the cemetary and yet it is difficult to leave. I know Zavi is not really there and more likely he is where we are, goes where we go.

I will not let Zavier go, but I will learn to live with him in Heaven. And try to make my peace with that. I don't think he can ever be really gone to me. I just have to learn how to live with him in a different existence.

Felix and I worked a little today on the big quilt. It should be completely done tomorrow. We are finishing up the binding here at home. So far so good.